Out of the mouth of BABES!

Ok, I am helping my 5 year old get her favorite TEAM (USC), outfit on this morning, with the TV News on and she looks up at the TV and says...

Gertie: "Isn't that BRACK OBAMA"?

me: "good job, yes that is, he is running for President"!
Gertie: "OOH! He looks SCARY"! I'm going for McCAIN"!
me: "really"! "you think he looks SCARY"!
Gertie: "YUP, like a DEBIL"!

I swear on the bible I almost fell out!!
I wonder why she thinks that, weird huh!

Happy Halloween and BE SAFE,
Beth

I'm sorry, but this is funny!!!!

Enough said,
Happy Halloween,
Beth

Let's just say mine didn't look like this...

So we get invited to a friends house for a "PUMPKIN PARTY! sounds like fun huh? well, it was, but damn I have three kids and I had to gut 3 pumpkins because you all don't think my three little PUMPKINS were actually going to touch PUMPKIN goo! Quite frankly, I didn't think I could either. You see I am ashamed to admit it, but that was my first time carving pumpkins. You see I don't like getting "dirty" either. I have a mouth like a sailor but I am as prissy as Jackie O!! So, my oldest bagged hers for Daddy's precision, he can carve a Pumpkin like Van Gogh, but my 2 youngest were quite pleased with my triangle eyes and nose and half mooned mouth! Let's just say it didn't look like the picture above.

Happy Halloween,
Beth

Please tell me why!!!

Why do I always say YES!!???

1. I have no backbone
2. I am a pleaser
3. I am plain stupid
4. all of the above

You got it.. 4: all of the above

I am up to my Hiney in Cupcakes, volunteering to cover not one, but two shifts for our school's annual FREAKY FRIDAY Halloween Bash (it is fun)tonight, making Agent Open House Flyers for an Agent Open house Saturday(ok I will get loans, maybe, for this) and I had to bring in enough POPCORN for my 5K's writing Workshop. Enough! Enough! Stop the madness. Help Me, I need advice to help me say no..

Signed,
I don't know all the answers where this is concerned,
Beth

Ok, so she ain't going to HARVARD...

Yesterday was parent teacher conference for my Kindergartner, Emerson, who we fondly call Gertie!

Ok, this what went down. I walk in and Mrs. Teacher is grinning from ear to ear!! good sign right, yes, kinda, here is our said conversation...

Mrs. T: " let me start by saying that face, OMG! I love her and those eyes. I could take her picture all day long.. She is a fun little girl, she loves to be outside and kick the ball, she's not your Tea Party type of girl, but she can do that too, if she needs to, I just LOVE HER!

What I am thinking: " who in the hell is she talking about and does she know I am Emerson's mommy?

What I say: She CAN be a sweetheart and of course I think she is beautiful.

Mrs. T: Well, she gets along with everyone and is very tender hearted and caring, and is always helping her Table Partner out with Opening items(he has some Motor skill problems) very subtly without drawing attention to herself or said child.

What I am thinking: Seriously who in the hell is she talking about.

What I say: Oh that is so sweet, because let me tell you, she gives me a run for my money.

Mrs. T: speaking of Money, we accessed her skills and she is a hard worker, knows her letters, writes her name, blah, blah, blah. Well, we went over money value and I placed a nickel down and asked Emerson "how much is that worth"? (this really needs a visual), and she leaned in real close and said 1965. I have never had that happen in all my years of teaching, it was the cutest thing. HAHAHA!!

What I think: Dumb ass, just kidding, it was pretty funny and clever I think.

What I say: Well, sooner or later she will learn the value of a dollar or said nickel, and knowledge and the love of books will soon be an interest for my youngest little girl, but to me honestly, to know that I have a kind child that cares about others, well that is about the finest compliment one can receive. My heart was full.

SO Gertie, this one's for you, thank you for being a kind child. Oh you are probably wondering why we call her Gertie.

Gertie was my late Mother's name, a surly, spirited woman who had the kindest heart of all...

What a WEEK!

As most of you know by now, I am a Loan Officer for a Mortgage Company and let's just say things are stressful for the mortgage business right now!! It is still a good time to buy a home GEEZ, our parents bought houses when the rates were 16% people, so I don't think 6.5% is bad at all. So with that said, Go to an OPEN HOUSE today in South Carolina anywhere and CALL ME, I will get you a wonderful rate and great service for your home loan purchase, and if you close in November by golly you won't have a payment until January so you will have plenty of LOOT for all of your Christmas purchases! See wasn't that easy!!

Well, both the Gamecocks, my team and Clemson whoevers team LOST, sad day for the State of SC!

I am trying to get going for the day and take my rugrats shopping for some warm clothing. My middle daughter has grown 4 inches since last year and all of her pants are floods. Speaking of MOO, that's her nickname, the other day I was glancing at her piggies and I noticed her BIG TOES were RED, ouch! So as the concerned Mother that I am, chuckle chuckle, I asked her why her piggies were RED and she said, "because my toes are rubbing the tips of my shoes"! I said" dear God why didn't you say anything". and she said, "because you said you weren't buying another DAMN thing because we are on a Budget" OUCH! Did I really say Damn? Yes, but dang I don't want her feet to bleed. Guess I am buying a pair of Tennis shoes today.

Am I being punished?...

My downstairs Laundry room FLOODED yet again!! After forking over ALOT of money oh I don't know a month ago to my plumber it has flooded again. Same way as before, ran the garbage disposal the same time the washing machine and dishwasher were running, see I roll that way, I am a multi-tasker, apparently my PLUMBING is NOT!! So I called my girlfriend* to BITCH and she said, "call our trash and sewer service provider"! What, huh? they will fix it? Yes, people they will! They were here within the hour and VOILA! fixed and for free! Seems the plumber didn't go far in enough before. Mmm! Uh huh! Needless to say I love my sewer provider and I am going to write them a big fat thank you letter.

I am going to The SC State Fair today, wish me luck.....

* should this be Just Ask Andrea.. I am losing my MOJO for knowing info.. DANG!

Watch where you are going....

Did I happen to mention I hit a pedestrian the other day? UH! Yes, I was pulling out of the Publix shopping center and I looked to my right, then left and eased out when I heard THUMP, THUMP, THUMP and "GD lady watch where you are going!"
What? OMG! I didn't even SEE you I swear, are you ok? Yes, Yes, I am fine go on and put down your Gdamn Cell phone.. I pinky swear I wasn't talking on it, it was in my hand.... because AFTER I pulled out I was going to call someone, but after that fiasco, I almost wet myself, threw up and passed out, so I went back to work, without talking on the phone at all.

Seriously, what a wake up call. I was so scared, that I am very careful about talking out of necessity when in the car..

Did I mention the pedestrian was a gray haired man.. OUCH!!

Award Update...

My husband who was listed as number two on my six favorite things has been edged out by BUTTERBEAN my windowsill eating dog! Why you ask? Hubby went out around 7:30 last night and returned home... let's just say it smelled like coffee and bacon when he got home. Looks like somebody besides BUTTERBEAN will be in the DOGHOUSE.

Signed, Your loving wife xoxo

These are a few of my favorite things....

Thnak You Jessica aka Southern Yankee! I am so honored to have my very first BLOG Award. I am told I must list my six favorite things... Okie Dokie, here goes.

1. The sweet smiles of my 3 girls

2. My husband, any way, shape, or form, he is a true gentlemen and a wonderful father.

3. Boys. Don't ask me why. I do not have boys but always thought of myself as a BOY MOM! I just love them, what you see is what you get.. NO DRAMA! Unless of course they have a hovering psycho mom that likes to baby them. I like them rough and tough!

4. The fact that my children remember my parents and always talk about them even though they never Knew them, they both died before my girls were born.

5. Thanksgiving Day. My all time favorite day of the YEAR! We have a lot to be thankful for, not to mention all that yummy goodness and aroma floating through the house.

6. My select few good friends who I know will always be there for me and I for them.


Thank You, Jessica

I select

Caffeine Court totally funny and my new BFF on the BLOGroll
Amanda The Family News my Carolina connection
mgbhlh Funny and to the point
Preppy101 Sweet girl
Kara Pink,green and southern I like her style
PearlsandGrace she is so busy with her family but seems to get it all done effortlessly

Tennis Update..

Well, as much as I hate to admit defeat, I will, I LOST! However, I made a gallant effort! I have been having issues with my back, and quite frankly, I didn't think I could do it, but I did! Do I feel better today? Hell no! But, Hell Yes also! Why do you ask? Because, I exercised! It felt great to breathe in fresh air and move around these old joints of mine. I am a little sore today, but a good sore. One thing I am not is a SORE LOSER, I had fun even in defeat. 6/0 6/0! DANG!

P.S. we did get to deuce several times!

Signed, Yours truly,

FIT BARBIE